Opting Out!

Riddle me this: why is it that we ladies find it so horrifying to wear the same 'special occasion outfit' too many times? These pieces cost much more than things we wear on a daily basis, and yet we never get our 'money per wear' value from them. For example: I bought a classic black dress for my hen's night -- this means most of my female friends have seen it. I've since worn it to the closing night of my husband's show, and since most of his work colleagues were slightly tipsy when they saw me in it...I felt confident enough to wear it again to the Helpmann Awards without too much embarrassment. But that lovely outfit is pretty much dead now. I'll need to wait at least a few years before I can resurrect it. Money down the drain, people!

I have 3 weddings and an Opening Night to attend in the not too distant future and I am distraught when I think of how much cash I'll need to spend to attend these events in different clothes. I know what you're thinking: buy one outfit and make it do all four. But there are too many of the same people attending most of the occasions to facilitate such a coup. I could rent a dress from one of those designer hire places, but that still ain't cheap - and what if I spill some red wine on it? My husband suggested I wear that 'nice black dress' to his Opening Night and the thought of having to drag it out again made me burst into tears. The poor fella can't possibly understand my reaction -- he has one amazing suit that he wears everywhere. Problem solved.

We could go deeper on this. Naomi Wolf suggested 19 years ago in her manifesto The Beauty Myth that while we ladies may indeed achieve equal pay for equal work at some point, we will never be truly equal while we spend that extra money on maintaining our appearance. In the spirit of this idea, I've decided to experiment with NOT buying new outfits for all of these events. I'm going on the scrounge instead. One of my bridesmaids is mailing me her dress from our wedding for this weekend, and I'm hoping that it will fit. That means the Opening Night is covered. As for the three weddings - I'm hoping to establish some sort of Girlfriend's Party Dress Database TM. All of my gal pals will take some snaps of the dead dresses in their wardrobes and we'll just swap them around like Eat, Pray, Love. Who's with me?

Awkward Couch Time

I'm not the kind of person who likes to feel uncomfortable in my own lounge-room. It happens a lot -- I get too involved with what's going on on TV and sometimes the pain/embarrassment is too much to bear. Like when someone does really badly on a talent contest, or when a live interview goes horribly wrong, or when some poor person's life is being ripped apart before my eyes on RPA or one of those fly on the wall series'. I usually respond to such events by covering my eyes and ears whilst leaping off the couch screaming 'turn it off, turn it off, for the love of god, TURN IT OFF!'

While watching Letterman the other night I had to resist all such urges. Climate change author and educator Bill McKibben was on talking about issues facing the planet, and while it scared the crap out of me, I sensed that I should stay put and keep watching. To be honest - a lot of his facts and figures were too huge to contemplate in succession so I checked out his website. That's full of little nuggets like -- everything on the planet that we consider 'frozen' has really melted or is melting. What about -- 'the tropics have expanded two degrees north and south, pushing drought ahead of them.' Or even worse -- 'even the chemistry of seawater is steadily becoming more acidic, as the oceans absorb carbon from the atmosphere.' A little tough to take, hey? You can see why it was so hard to remain seated.

McKibben also touched on the notion that while we might be doing things individually to minimise our 'black balloons' -- unless governments and leaders get involved, our efforts don't mean much. In response, he has created a grass-roots movement 350.org and a global work party for 10/10/10. There are events across the world where communities can get together on this date, learn how to minimise their carbon emissions and make a statement to governments at the same time. Last year, there were 5200 demonstrations in 181 countries and they're trying to make this year's work party even bigger. Worth getting off the couch for!

My name is Hungrygirl, and I am a 'Formerly'

Defining Moment #1:

Standing on cold bathroom tiles under some unflattering flouro lighting. Slapping on a little bit of makeup (not too much!) Stretching the skin around the eye taught to apply eyeliner. Letting it go and --

The skin just stays there.

Sadly pushing it back to where it's supposed to be.

DM #2:

Looking at photos of a good time taken by friends when unawares. Laugh lines stretch all the way to hair line.

DM #3:

Being heckled by boorish types while walking past a construction site. Realising that the commotion is intended for someone else.

Hang on -- these moments need not be defining, nor devastating. I'm not Blanche Dubois! I have skills! I watched the documentary Blue Eyed as a young girl! (Jane Elliot, the civil rights champion tells a 'Valley Girl' in one of her workshops to 'Get over cute. You'll be cute until you're about 40. Then you'll go for a promotion and you won't get it because they won't think of you as competent, they'll just think of you as cute. And then you'll howl sexism. Get qualified! Get competent!') It made quite an impression.

But deep in the recesses of my mind, I know that I'm kind of, you know, pretty. And it's hard to watch that fade a little. It's difficult to consider the alternatives: Should I let someone inject botulism into my face in order to paralyse certain problem areas? What if I want to express myself? Should I go under the scalpel? Some famous bitch once quipped: 'Your face can lie, but your neck tells the truth.' I am quite relieved that feminism has made it possible for women to have lives beyond their appearance, but my face and body are changing, friends -- and I'm not loving it.

So, it was with great relief when I stumbled upon Stephanie Dolgoff's Blog Formerly Hot. Filled with humorous anecdotes from the author and lots of other 'Formerlies', it makes wonderful (and comforting) reading. There must be a lot of us out there, as her book My Formerly Hot Life is on the New York Times bestseller list. Dolgoff's blog and book provide fab strategies to deal with your looks losing their lustre - and let's face it - it will happen to us all!

I Heart NY (Mag)

You're a 25-32 year old female.

What magazines do you read?

You have enough experience in the bedroom not to need your information from a glossy, let alone a sealed section. You are too smart to get all of your information from a serial whose stories are really pictures and who quote 'a source close to the couple' to add legitimacy to what they're alleging. You're too young for those publications who include articles about royal families, knitting and food porn (although you might flick through one at your mother's house!). You might have a mortgage, a child, or are saving up for a trip, so high fashion mags just make you want things you can't afford. Don't even get you started on periodicals devoted solely to slimming. Yuk.

So what's left? Frankie? Great publication - but it's published every second month! What's a girl supposed to do in the off month?

Fear not friends, as New York Magazine has come to the rescue! It's put out weekly and has a fab roundup of high and low art, political scandals, pop culture, opinion pieces and investigative journalism. My favourite section is StarMarket where they assess whether to buy, sell or hold a particular celebrity based on their stock history, market value, peers and what Hollywood thinks. Far from a nasty tabloid style dissection of their private life - this is an in-depth analysis of their movies, how they handle publicity, what they bring to each project etc. While I might spend some serious time drooling over Mad Men's John Hamm and am confident in his superior star power -- StarMarket points out that '[p]eople in Kansas aren't watching Mad Men. Hamm needs to figure out how to do something...with red state appeal but not in such a way that it looks ridiculous - so bull riding is out. Hamm's been an athlete. He's an NHL fan. He used to play baseball. Use that.' Good stuff! And not a recipe, weight loss article or blurry celebrity photo in sight. I had a ball flicking through this mag while I was in New York on a recent trip, but it has a great online counterpart which won't eat into your mortgage/holiday/child budget at all!

The Only One We Need

My laptop was stolen from my luggage on a recent overseas trip (along with a rather colourful maxi dress I bought from Macy's. What strange taste my robber had! What were they thinking as they were rifling through my possessions: 'Books, boring! I could sell this Mac on eBay. Ooh! Here's a nice dress!') and so this blog has been sadly sadly neglected. But I am back with a vengeance, friends!

I know you think I'm going to blab on about the new season of Mad Men or yabber about the state of the country's hung parliament, but no! I'm going to pay homage to a book that I have become strangely devoted to. One that I see on the shelf and smile. One that gives me comfort in uncertain times. One that I would save in a fire. Brace yourselves: it's the Low GI Vegetarian Cookbook. I know, I know, you think I've cracked it - let me explain: We've recently moved states and despite owning a shelf full of great cookbooks (both meat friendly and meat free), we were short on space and this was the only one that made the cut.

Written by Professor Jennie Brand-Miller (the scientist who developed the Glycemic Index) and others, it gives us meat abstainers some great pointers about how to get the most nutrition from food and then launches into the best 80 vego recipes that have ever existed. Truly, each one is a winner. My fella (a pretty committed carnivore) and I constantly sit and marvel about how each dish seems to trump earlier ones in the taste department, smug in the knowledge that we've just eaten something pretty healthy, too!

My mother, who remarked that all vegos should be 'taken out and shot' when I 'came out' to her, ate the Paella and then emailed the next day to ask for the recipe. Two other friends whose constant cry goes something like 'it ain't a meal unless there's meat' asked for seconds of the Spicy Moroccan Chickpea and Lentil Soup. And having never wanted to eat dahl before (it's such a cliche! It looks like slop!) I relented and cooked the Red Lentil Dahl with Spiced Basmati Rice and nearly passed out with pleasure.

Highly recommended for all vegos who are a little bored with tofu and goat's cheese (although they make an occasional appearance), as well as herbivores and carnivores who own way too many cookbooks!

Girl love for Tina Fey

A lot has happened. I got married, (it was awesome!) we renovated our bathroom, (not so awesome -- the people at my gym and McDonald’s quickly worked out that I was only there for one thing) and I re-kindled my love for Tina Fey (I watched all of 30 Rock Season 3 in one sitting). The woman is magic. I kind of want to be her, but I’d settle for her friendship – she could be my go-to girl for all sorts of late night cheese eating and bad tv watching. (I think I may be conflating Ms Fey with her alter-ego Liz Lemon, but let me indulge this fantasy.)

Fey has an impressive biography: becoming the first female head writer on Saturday Night Live, penning the script for the teen comedy Mean Girls, writing, producing and starring in 30 Rock, entertaining America (and the rest of the world) with her uncanny Sarah Palin impersonation and winning seven Emmy awards in the process.

Interestingly, Fey has been the subject of an online backlash of sorts – she accepted a Golden Globe award thus: “If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you.” Fey then told her ‘haters’ on the LA Times website “Babsonlacrosse, Dlanefan and Cougarletter”, to “suck it”. I love that she was a little vulnerable to criticism, but survived to tell the tale. She also seems to like other women – famously hiring Amy Poehler to replace Jimmy Fallon for their ‘Weekend Update’ segment on SNL.

And then there’s the scar – apparently caused by a rather dramatic slashing incident as a child. What is even more impressive is that she doesn’t like to discuss it. She told Vanity Fair: “It’s impossible to talk about it without somehow seemingly exploiting it and glorifying it.” Restraint. In Hollywood. Unheard of.

But the thing that I love most about her is her writing. It's genius. What about the comedy gold she gave to Salma Hayek: ‘Lemon, isn’t there a slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?’ Or her creation of uber manager Jack Donaghy, thereby totally resurrecting Alec Baldwin’s career? My favourite is her Sarah Palin line, uttered during the campaign: “I believe marriage is a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” Yikes. Particularly pertinent given the controversy surrounding Bristol Palin's recent engagement. Maybe she can see into the future! Maybe she really is magic! Tina Fey – I salute you.

I'll Always Have Time For Mad Men

Hi friends,

I'm getting hitched this weekend and with all of the shopping, emailing, table arranging to be done, this little blog has been sadly neglected. BUT the need to satiate my Mad Men addiction has taken my attention momentarily away from all the crazy frou frou. Season 4 returns in America on July 25...and I've found a few little video hits that have helped me satisfy my cravings.

The first? Mad Men creatives and actors (some in costume--eek!) discussing Season 4. No doubt this has promted extensive analysis about Joan's fab ensemble and the 'fresh start' for the new advertising firm!

And second -- the most stylish montage of every pick up line ever to have been employed by Roger, Ken, Pete and Peggy! Indeed, it seems that Mad Men is really Peggy's story -- a plucky young woman learns to compete amongst the gents and marks the seeds of change sprouting in the 60s, ready to blossom in the 70s.

OK - my fixation has been fixed. Now, on to creating the dance floor playlist -- Mickey, the Grease Mega-Mix and Brown Eyed Girl are all out. Superstition, Lady Marmalade and Jungle Boogie are ready to go! Speak to you on the other side!

To poo poo or not to poo poo: Julia Gillard and Toy Story 3

Two recent incidents have caused vast outpourings of joy: Julia Gillard's ascension to the top job, and the release of Toy Story 3! Online media moves so quickly that while many were convulsing with joy, the party poopers made their move. Reading some of the insightful 'wetblanketry' caused me to have an attack of the Carrie Bradshaw's: I couldn't help but wonder - when it is appropriate to poo poo remarkable deeds?

Firstly to Ms Gillard -- the mainstream media devoted the kind of attention not seen since a major disaster, and the bloggosphere went into overdrive at the news that we had our first female PM. While so many women wept with joy (myself included!) there were others advising caution. Shakira Hussein at Crikey pointed out that several countries have had a female leader who hadn't done much to alleviate the suffering of their own gender -- that many struggles still exist for women in Australia, and we can't believe they're over just because we have a female PM. Helen Razer, writing at ABC's The Drum jumped on the 'party pooper' bandwagon: '[Julia Gillard] was never pointed toward the detonation of any glass ceilings. She set out, she said, to "keep my feet on the floor". And there her feet remained throughout the 90s as she was knocked back for ALP pre-selection three times. That they have now elevated her to the country's top job is, of course, testament not only to her tenacity but to feminism's gains. But, this doesn't give us ladies license to bang on like the epilogue to Sex and the City. First, it's just unseemly. Second, as any sensible woman should know, it's perilous to declare one's self satisfied.'

We may not need to pour water over it all just yet -- Gillard herself stated in an interview with the Herald Sun, no less, that she's interested in a variety of women's issues including female commodification in the media and the rise of raunch culture, violence against women, sexual assault, equal pay and representation in corridors of power such as parliament and corporate boardrooms. Given that she was also a founding member of the group Emily's List (a 'financial, political and personal support network for the election of progressive Labor women candidates') we may even be able to expect some positive changes for women in the not too distant future. We may, as Catherine Deveny pointed out '[be able] to have this moment.' Phew!

And as for Toy Story 3 - I defy you to see this movie and not enjoy it. It's visually stunning, comically voiced and plays with solid themes about the power of imagination, the need to remain flexible to change and the importance of friendship. I just loved it, and then I read this: Natalie Wilson at Ms.blog pointed out that it ain't too strong on the female character front. Wilson asserts that too few of the new toys are female, that Bo Peep seems to have gone missing, and that Mrs Potato Head, Barbie and Jesse the Cowgirl are only empowered in the opening moments of the film -- which is set in Andy's imagination anyway. But what's the big deal, right? It's only one cartoon! Let's not get carried away. Well, Wilson argues that most of the Pixar films are centred around the fellas: 'Wall-E, A Bug’s Life, Cars, Monsters Inc, The Incredibles.' And from that list, she kinda has a point. But what about other animation houses? Do they do it any better? Not so, according to actress Geena Davis, who has an Institute on Gender and Media and who recently spoke to the United Nations on the representation of women in children's media.

Her research indicates that in children's cartoons, TV shows and movies, there is only one female character to every three male characters -- one to five in large group scenes. According to the analysis, when female characters are depicted, they 'tended to be over-sexualized with a narrow scope of character traits.' Barbie, anyone? Davis insists that: 'if we have such devaluing and disempowering images from the first media that children consume, it sets the table and enculturates another generation of children into seeing women and children of a lesser status than boys and men.' Oh jeez -- can't I just enjoy Woody and Buzz? Must I poo poo? I guess the answer is unfortunately, yes. But the solution may lie with the example set by our current PM: we need to establish an Emily's list to increase female representation in the the media! Who's with me?

This Book Made Me Pea-Green With Envy

Most of us read Harper Lee's seminal novel To Kill a Mockingbird as young people. It moved us. We railed against small town intolerance and were thrilled when Atticus Finch stepped up to tackle prejudice and fight for freedom. The way Atticus explains discrimination to his children serves to reinforce the baselessness of racism and we vowed to be inclusive in our dealings with people from minorities.

Craig Silvey's much publicised second novel Jasper Jones transplants these ideas to a fictional Western Australian town in 1965. The plucky young protagonist, Charlie Bucktin, has read Harper Lee and Mark Twain and constantly endeavours to apply these lessons to the dreadful event he witnesses with the town's outcast Jasper Jones. 'What would Atticus do?'

Jasper Jones inspired many emotions within me -- the chief one being envy. I'm bitter that someone could have crafted such a simple, perfect novel, I'm jealous of the wonderful friendship that exists between Charlie Bucktin and his best friend Jeffrey Lu, (their dialogue is so sparkling, so full of wit and love it just about makes you want to cry), I covet the wonderful metaphors dotted throughout the novel -- the most important being who is the braver of the superheros Batman or Superman? Superman has superpowers and need only be afraid of Kryptonite, but Batman has no special ability and needs to summon human courage in order to save the day. Indeed, Charlie must learn overcome his mortal fears and muster the nerve to face life's challenges and see the truth. I yearn for the sweetness and naivety of the affection that blossoms between Charlie and his first love. (I'm aware that I'm talking about the characters in the novel as if they are real, and not a construct of the author, but that's the green-eyed-monster inducing genius of Craig Silvey -- he writes each of the characters with almost as many flaws as strengths and makes you feel as if you really know them!) But the thing I envy most of all, is that one of you might find the novel and will get to discover it all for the first time.

Hope Has Returned

My eyes are simmering with tears. My heart is full of joy. It's difficult to find sufficient adjectives to articulate exactly what I'm feeling. Just when it seemed as though all was lost -- something to believe in. To celebrate. Regardless of your political persuasions, all would agree it is a momentous day in Australian political history. We have a female Prime Minister. Julia Gillard herself said in her recent press conference that she did not begin her political career to smash through any glass ceiling, but regardless of whether this is her aim -- she has made a giant leap forward for all of us. And now our first female Prime Minister makes her way towards Government House to be sworn in by Australia's first female Governor General. We have hope. As Christopher Reeve once said: 'Once you choose hope, anything's possible.'

Wed-Mania

It is a truth universally acknowledged that people take you for a ride when it comes to weddings. The very word ‘wedding’ cannot be said in public without a nearby cash register sounding off with a ‘cha ching’. You are vulnerable. You want to put on a good show. Vendors know this and they exploit it. Let’s start with the frock. You make appointments at the big shops to try things on to get a sense of what looks good on you. (All of the bridal mags suggest this as a first step. Ladies, they are in on the conspiracy.) Then you find one. It costs nearly $5000. It makes you cry when you try it on. You come out of the change room and your mother chimes in with the water works and it is all over. The sales assistant is mentally tallying up her commission and spending the money as we speak.

But NO! You’re a smart girl. This is too much money! This is silly. You’re not even changing your name, for Christ’s sake. You walk away. It’s like you’ve been torn from your child. But you push ahead. You valiantly attend bridal clearance sales where they make you wait outside with a number, coz last year two crazy bitches ended up in fisticuffs OVER A DRESS. You bravely try on things that might be nice if they weren’t stained, torn, rumpled, and covered in some other woman’s makeup You try to visualise what the dress will look like if all of these things could be fixed. But the other dress MADE YOU CRY, and so you leave. They’ve got you over a barrel. You may not have spent your whole life planning this day, but you now have a very specific idea about what you would like to look like AND IT ALL REVOLVES AROUND THAT *&$%#@^% DRESS!

If you get really stuck, a quick Internet search will reveal that you can buy a gown based on your favourite Disney Princess. I am not kidding. The people who created the concept need to reinforce that this is your ‘princess moment’, your ‘happy every after’ where a dashing prince will draw his sword and ride away with you into the sunset where you will live in the woods at one with nature. It’s crap like this that spins the average Australian wedding into the $50,000 plus-bridezilla-out-of-control-category. But back to Disney Bridal; Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, Belle, Jasmine, Ariel and Giselle all make an appearance, each with their distinctive style. (I’ll let Jezebel rip this to shreds for you, but I’m a big fan of the way they’ve used a blonde model for Cinderella, but the Jasmine girl is dark and exotic. Ugh.) Incidentally, the Jasmine collection is described thus: ‘A new world awaits Jasmine as she follows her heart and finds true love. Here, fairy tale wishes take flight and happily ever after becomes the greatest adventure.
This enchanting collection reflects Jasmine’s bohemian spirit. Gowns drape in chiffon and satin. Exotic details include clustered beadwork, appliqué lace and just a touch of wanderlust.’ They know that we’re adults, right?

Then there are the things you never knew you needed. Take the Facebook ads for companies looking to cash in on the information you’ve revealed in your status updates. (Thanks for those privacy settings!) At the time of writing, the: ‘Shape Clinic’s Bridal Rejuvenation Facial Treatment – book your treatment now to make sure you look your best on your wedding day!’ is making an appearance. As is the Myer Bridal Gift Registry. The best one is 'Boudoir Image: Vintage French inspired sensual art for your home'. Apparently, as a gift for my future husband on our wedding day, I have to go and have a photo session costing big bucks where I strip off and pose like a 70s porn star in a barn in some inner Sydney suburb. When do I give him this gift? On the morning of our wedding with the bridal party standing around? Where will we display these photos? This is out of control! Can’t I just get him a wallet? And thus – the tone of our wedding hath been set!

Emotional Eating

You know how sometimes, you think you are in for one kind of experience, and you end up completely diverted through no fault of your own? Like when you went to someone else’s house as a child and you thought you were getting Vegemite, but it was actually Promite and it was so, so wrong? You’d happily existed on this earth without ever having run into Promite, but your friend insisted that it was just as popular in other countries and was essentially the same thing and you just didn’t know what to believe in any more?

This happened to me a few years ago when I picked up the book Skinny Bitch by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin – ‘A no-nonsense, tough love guide for savvy girls who want to stop eating crap and start looking fabulous.’ I’d had a pretty indulgent Christmas and was vulnerable at the airport, killing time in their overpriced bookshop. I was attracted to the deceptive Chick Lit drawing on the front and thought: ‘That’s me! I’m savvy! I want to look fabulous! This sounds like fun!’ What I got was a dossier on the horrors of the food industry that read like Mein Kampf for Veganism and 'pure' eating. I was railroaded into being at the very least a vegetarian as they yelled things at me like: ‘Coffee is for pussies’ (ok, I see where you’re going with this) and ‘Suck your mother’s tits. Go on. Suck your mother’s tits’ (now dairy is out) and ‘You are a total moron if you think the Atkins diet will make you thin.’ (This came from a chapter entitled the ‘Dead, Rotting, Decomposing Flesh Diet'.) Rory and Kim achieved their aim – they conned me into reading their book and made one more person a vegetarian. This lasted about 3 years. I was doing well and then started to waver. I blame bacon. It smells fabulous and that’s nothing compared with the salty, salty goodness that enchants your taste buds when you eat it. My friends devoured in front of me while I was trying to make do with avocado and tomato on toast. I hadn’t yet faltered, but I was teetering on the brink. So I prayed for a sign, and I got one while watching Ellen one day. It was all innocuous stuff. Ellen was jokin’, Ellen was dancin’ with the ladies and then Ellen was interviewin’ Jonathan Safran Foer about his book Eating Animals. The usually fictional writer had just had a baby boy and wanted to be more informed about what he was feeding his kid. He went a huntin’ for information about meat and how it gets to our plate. He was so sweet! So knowledgeable! But importantly, since he too had shilly-shallied in his vegetarianism, he wouldn't yell at me.

So I read the book. And I cried like a child who’s just found out that Santa isn’t real. The way he describes how a factory farmed animal lives and dies would break the heart of the most hardened carnivore, and then comes the information about the correlation between diseases and meat, environmental destruction and meat, species extinction and meat…you get the idea. What’s great about this book, however is that Safran Foer thoroughly examines each perspective, searching for answers. He interviews activists, hobby farmers, factory farmers, vegetarian ranchers, slaughterhouse employees and many others. He’s not trying to blame anyone, he’s just working out what to feed his family. And so I’m back on the path. And like James Brown, I feel good. It was just the diversion I needed.

Waste Not - Want Not

I was slumped on the couch the other night watching MasterChef, frowning about a few things -- the way George Calombaris eats, (Please George -- there is a camera on you. Lips meet when we eat!) the amount of crying, (it's not Cook or Die, people) and what happens to all of the leftover food? On many cooking and lifestyle shows, the crew are famous for wolfing down each dish as soon as the director yells ‘cut’! But what happens when they’ve made five of Gary’s Beef Wellingtons? And one of them don’t look so great? (Not that I can get all Judgy McJudgerton on MasterChef – I’m always throwing out wilted celery purchased in good faith, that could now be tied in a bow.) I needn’t have wasted my energy on those down-turned smile muscles, as MasterChef have teamed up with OzHarvest to distribute the leftover food to the needy. Cool, hey? Ronni Kahn established the organisation after working in the food industry, and lamenting the amount of wasted product. OzHarvest (and many other similar charities) had to work with governments to amend legislation to allow them to do their good work, and as long as a few conditions are met, it’s win win for everyone concerned. I’m glad that MasterChef is ahead of public opinion on this one, so that I can get back to furrowing my brow every time George puts some food near his lips.

The Terrors of Technology

Who doesn’t love an inappropriate status update? We all have a ‘friend’ on Facebook who's status we'd rather avoid. They might be the constant complainer: ‘Jane is soooooo over this morning sickness. Today, I thought I was going to barf up my ring.’ The over-achiever: ‘Jane is jetting off to Switzerland to give a presentation to the UN on human rights and woke up 3 kilos lighter. Yay for me!’ Or the criminal: ‘Jane - YOU ARE SUCH A FOUL BITCH. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU BETTER WATCH YOUR BACK COZ I’M GONNA KICK YOUR HEAD IN, BISCUIT TIN FACE.’ (I sanitized that last one for you, as the original contained a lot of swearwords that started with ‘f’ and ‘c’ and actually named the girl that she threatened to beat up.)

But whilst their lack of tact/awareness/sensitivity might be mildly annoying – imagine you are a teenager trying to navigate technology! Childhood is hard enough without the net or mobile phones adding the extra layer of anonymity and distance that allows bullying to be particularly insidious. (Check out Formspring, where you can anonymously ask questions on people’s profiles – e.g. ‘Why are you such a slut?) The writer never has to engage with the ramifications of their comments.

Hortense (a Jezebel regular) tries to lighten things up for us. She wonders how several iconic teen movies would change amongst today’s technology? I started to panic about my favourite teen movie The Breakfast Club -- would the stereotypes even make it to detention? Andrew Clarke (the jock) would video himself taping the kid’s buns together, upload it on to youtube, and would be arrested instead. Claire (the princess) wouldn’t have cut class to go shopping, she could sneakily check out net-a-porter.com on her iPad and no one would be any the wiser. Brian Johnson (the geek) needn't take shop to get an easy grade and fail his elephant lamp task – he could attend any number of software design classes instead and really excel. Allison (the freak) who doesn't have anything better to do could stay at home and play Second Life. But, I truly believe that John Bender (the criminal) would still set off that fire alarm and that means I can fantasize that it’s just him and me at detention and I can give him one of my earrings to wear as a memento. Maybe this new version ain’t so bad after all!

Bright Side: The Sex and the City 2 Experience

Create a film like Sex and the City 2 and there will be consequences. They range from the HBO-branded-tie-in-underwear you can buy at Target, (Look! You can be just like Carrie underneath your Sportsgirl top!) an increase in alcohol sales in bars surrounding theatres (many have made deals with their closest Multiplex. Show your ticket for a $10 Cosmopolitan!) and some fabulous reviews. Some are thigh-thumpingly amazing. I've tried to steer away from reading ones that are unkind about physical appearance - where's the sisterhood in that? But there is some great writing about the representation of motherhood, sex, minorities, and the Middle East that's really worth reading. Why is this so great? Many of the women who are flocking to this movie, eager for their glitzy escapism, will know in the backs of their minds that all is not right here. 'What could all of those people be upset about?'

Well, Lindy West at Seattle's The Stranger is concerned that: 'SATC2 takes everything that I hold dear as a woman and as a human...and rapes it to death with a stiletto that costs more than my car.' While famed film reviewer Roger Ebert highlights just how shallow these woman have become: 'Their defining quality is consuming things. They gobble food, fashion, houses, husbands, children, vitamins and freebies.' Wajahat Ali, writing at Film Salon derides the film as: 'cinematic Viagra for Western cultural imperialists'. Mel Campbell (at Crikey) attended an Australian premiere and noted the: 'desperation of the various brands involved to one-up each other in the product-placement stakes.'

On the flip side, Erika K, the blogger behind The Feminista Files, is boycotting the film, but wants it to make money. Why? 'Because if it doesn't Hollywood will say female-centric movies -- which never cost nearly as much as action flicks -- don't make economic sense and they'll stop greenlighting them...' What to do then?
We can hope that all of the attention on this film will force us to question how women, motherhood and minorities are represented in other media sites...or maybe, just maybe some female sitting in a darkened Hoyts might think to herself: Gee, this doesn't really speak to my life experience, maybe I should try to seek out a film that's more about what I'm going through?...Maybe I should demand that one of those is made?...Maybe I should write it myself!

Mad Addiction

Like many who raced through series 1 to 3 of Mad Men, I need little drips of information about the show while waiting for season 4 to start. Hey, I have an addiction and it needs to be fed. Luckily, there's Tom and Lorenzo. They constantly update their Mad Style analysis of each of the female characters and have just uploaded their Joan, Betty and Peggy series. The depth of their dissection is truly astounding; they examine the general style of the character, how she dresses in crucial scenes and the way that this articulates many of the series' themes. It's truly amazing work and goes far beyond a general gush about the fabulous costumes. Now...where can I get my next fix?

Gripped by Monkey Grip

I'm three quarters through this remarkable novel by Australian literary giant, Helen Garner. Set in 1970s Melbourne, it charts the sporadic interactions between a group of fringe-dwelling, drug-addled, boundary- pushing bohemians as they endeavour to confront traditional systems of family, relationships, money and sex. All of this frontier-battling invariably leads to much confusion; the protagonist Nora strives to live free of monogamy, yet desires to be loved above all things. Her relationship with the actor/junkie Javo is the monkey grip that will not loosen. What is particularly compelling is the way that the women fight for sexual freedom, yet continue to bear the brunt of contraception and child-rearing. One wonders how much has changed? Some have lauded Garner's stream of consciousness style, and others have dismissed the work as a published diary. (Garner based much of Monkey Grip on her own diaries, many of which she sadly burned in the 1980s.) But her fluid prose, dream descriptions and veracious account of a younger Melbourne have left this reader haunted and wanting more. (And also wishing I was a member of a book club so that I could hear some other opinions!)