Opting Out!

Riddle me this: why is it that we ladies find it so horrifying to wear the same 'special occasion outfit' too many times? These pieces cost much more than things we wear on a daily basis, and yet we never get our 'money per wear' value from them. For example: I bought a classic black dress for my hen's night -- this means most of my female friends have seen it. I've since worn it to the closing night of my husband's show, and since most of his work colleagues were slightly tipsy when they saw me in it...I felt confident enough to wear it again to the Helpmann Awards without too much embarrassment. But that lovely outfit is pretty much dead now. I'll need to wait at least a few years before I can resurrect it. Money down the drain, people!

I have 3 weddings and an Opening Night to attend in the not too distant future and I am distraught when I think of how much cash I'll need to spend to attend these events in different clothes. I know what you're thinking: buy one outfit and make it do all four. But there are too many of the same people attending most of the occasions to facilitate such a coup. I could rent a dress from one of those designer hire places, but that still ain't cheap - and what if I spill some red wine on it? My husband suggested I wear that 'nice black dress' to his Opening Night and the thought of having to drag it out again made me burst into tears. The poor fella can't possibly understand my reaction -- he has one amazing suit that he wears everywhere. Problem solved.

We could go deeper on this. Naomi Wolf suggested 19 years ago in her manifesto The Beauty Myth that while we ladies may indeed achieve equal pay for equal work at some point, we will never be truly equal while we spend that extra money on maintaining our appearance. In the spirit of this idea, I've decided to experiment with NOT buying new outfits for all of these events. I'm going on the scrounge instead. One of my bridesmaids is mailing me her dress from our wedding for this weekend, and I'm hoping that it will fit. That means the Opening Night is covered. As for the three weddings - I'm hoping to establish some sort of Girlfriend's Party Dress Database TM. All of my gal pals will take some snaps of the dead dresses in their wardrobes and we'll just swap them around like Eat, Pray, Love. Who's with me?

Awkward Couch Time

I'm not the kind of person who likes to feel uncomfortable in my own lounge-room. It happens a lot -- I get too involved with what's going on on TV and sometimes the pain/embarrassment is too much to bear. Like when someone does really badly on a talent contest, or when a live interview goes horribly wrong, or when some poor person's life is being ripped apart before my eyes on RPA or one of those fly on the wall series'. I usually respond to such events by covering my eyes and ears whilst leaping off the couch screaming 'turn it off, turn it off, for the love of god, TURN IT OFF!'

While watching Letterman the other night I had to resist all such urges. Climate change author and educator Bill McKibben was on talking about issues facing the planet, and while it scared the crap out of me, I sensed that I should stay put and keep watching. To be honest - a lot of his facts and figures were too huge to contemplate in succession so I checked out his website. That's full of little nuggets like -- everything on the planet that we consider 'frozen' has really melted or is melting. What about -- 'the tropics have expanded two degrees north and south, pushing drought ahead of them.' Or even worse -- 'even the chemistry of seawater is steadily becoming more acidic, as the oceans absorb carbon from the atmosphere.' A little tough to take, hey? You can see why it was so hard to remain seated.

McKibben also touched on the notion that while we might be doing things individually to minimise our 'black balloons' -- unless governments and leaders get involved, our efforts don't mean much. In response, he has created a grass-roots movement 350.org and a global work party for 10/10/10. There are events across the world where communities can get together on this date, learn how to minimise their carbon emissions and make a statement to governments at the same time. Last year, there were 5200 demonstrations in 181 countries and they're trying to make this year's work party even bigger. Worth getting off the couch for!

My name is Hungrygirl, and I am a 'Formerly'

Defining Moment #1:

Standing on cold bathroom tiles under some unflattering flouro lighting. Slapping on a little bit of makeup (not too much!) Stretching the skin around the eye taught to apply eyeliner. Letting it go and --

The skin just stays there.

Sadly pushing it back to where it's supposed to be.

DM #2:

Looking at photos of a good time taken by friends when unawares. Laugh lines stretch all the way to hair line.

DM #3:

Being heckled by boorish types while walking past a construction site. Realising that the commotion is intended for someone else.

Hang on -- these moments need not be defining, nor devastating. I'm not Blanche Dubois! I have skills! I watched the documentary Blue Eyed as a young girl! (Jane Elliot, the civil rights champion tells a 'Valley Girl' in one of her workshops to 'Get over cute. You'll be cute until you're about 40. Then you'll go for a promotion and you won't get it because they won't think of you as competent, they'll just think of you as cute. And then you'll howl sexism. Get qualified! Get competent!') It made quite an impression.

But deep in the recesses of my mind, I know that I'm kind of, you know, pretty. And it's hard to watch that fade a little. It's difficult to consider the alternatives: Should I let someone inject botulism into my face in order to paralyse certain problem areas? What if I want to express myself? Should I go under the scalpel? Some famous bitch once quipped: 'Your face can lie, but your neck tells the truth.' I am quite relieved that feminism has made it possible for women to have lives beyond their appearance, but my face and body are changing, friends -- and I'm not loving it.

So, it was with great relief when I stumbled upon Stephanie Dolgoff's Blog Formerly Hot. Filled with humorous anecdotes from the author and lots of other 'Formerlies', it makes wonderful (and comforting) reading. There must be a lot of us out there, as her book My Formerly Hot Life is on the New York Times bestseller list. Dolgoff's blog and book provide fab strategies to deal with your looks losing their lustre - and let's face it - it will happen to us all!