Opting Out!

Riddle me this: why is it that we ladies find it so horrifying to wear the same 'special occasion outfit' too many times? These pieces cost much more than things we wear on a daily basis, and yet we never get our 'money per wear' value from them. For example: I bought a classic black dress for my hen's night -- this means most of my female friends have seen it. I've since worn it to the closing night of my husband's show, and since most of his work colleagues were slightly tipsy when they saw me in it...I felt confident enough to wear it again to the Helpmann Awards without too much embarrassment. But that lovely outfit is pretty much dead now. I'll need to wait at least a few years before I can resurrect it. Money down the drain, people!

I have 3 weddings and an Opening Night to attend in the not too distant future and I am distraught when I think of how much cash I'll need to spend to attend these events in different clothes. I know what you're thinking: buy one outfit and make it do all four. But there are too many of the same people attending most of the occasions to facilitate such a coup. I could rent a dress from one of those designer hire places, but that still ain't cheap - and what if I spill some red wine on it? My husband suggested I wear that 'nice black dress' to his Opening Night and the thought of having to drag it out again made me burst into tears. The poor fella can't possibly understand my reaction -- he has one amazing suit that he wears everywhere. Problem solved.

We could go deeper on this. Naomi Wolf suggested 19 years ago in her manifesto The Beauty Myth that while we ladies may indeed achieve equal pay for equal work at some point, we will never be truly equal while we spend that extra money on maintaining our appearance. In the spirit of this idea, I've decided to experiment with NOT buying new outfits for all of these events. I'm going on the scrounge instead. One of my bridesmaids is mailing me her dress from our wedding for this weekend, and I'm hoping that it will fit. That means the Opening Night is covered. As for the three weddings - I'm hoping to establish some sort of Girlfriend's Party Dress Database TM. All of my gal pals will take some snaps of the dead dresses in their wardrobes and we'll just swap them around like Eat, Pray, Love. Who's with me?

Awkward Couch Time

I'm not the kind of person who likes to feel uncomfortable in my own lounge-room. It happens a lot -- I get too involved with what's going on on TV and sometimes the pain/embarrassment is too much to bear. Like when someone does really badly on a talent contest, or when a live interview goes horribly wrong, or when some poor person's life is being ripped apart before my eyes on RPA or one of those fly on the wall series'. I usually respond to such events by covering my eyes and ears whilst leaping off the couch screaming 'turn it off, turn it off, for the love of god, TURN IT OFF!'

While watching Letterman the other night I had to resist all such urges. Climate change author and educator Bill McKibben was on talking about issues facing the planet, and while it scared the crap out of me, I sensed that I should stay put and keep watching. To be honest - a lot of his facts and figures were too huge to contemplate in succession so I checked out his website. That's full of little nuggets like -- everything on the planet that we consider 'frozen' has really melted or is melting. What about -- 'the tropics have expanded two degrees north and south, pushing drought ahead of them.' Or even worse -- 'even the chemistry of seawater is steadily becoming more acidic, as the oceans absorb carbon from the atmosphere.' A little tough to take, hey? You can see why it was so hard to remain seated.

McKibben also touched on the notion that while we might be doing things individually to minimise our 'black balloons' -- unless governments and leaders get involved, our efforts don't mean much. In response, he has created a grass-roots movement 350.org and a global work party for 10/10/10. There are events across the world where communities can get together on this date, learn how to minimise their carbon emissions and make a statement to governments at the same time. Last year, there were 5200 demonstrations in 181 countries and they're trying to make this year's work party even bigger. Worth getting off the couch for!

My name is Hungrygirl, and I am a 'Formerly'

Defining Moment #1:

Standing on cold bathroom tiles under some unflattering flouro lighting. Slapping on a little bit of makeup (not too much!) Stretching the skin around the eye taught to apply eyeliner. Letting it go and --

The skin just stays there.

Sadly pushing it back to where it's supposed to be.

DM #2:

Looking at photos of a good time taken by friends when unawares. Laugh lines stretch all the way to hair line.

DM #3:

Being heckled by boorish types while walking past a construction site. Realising that the commotion is intended for someone else.

Hang on -- these moments need not be defining, nor devastating. I'm not Blanche Dubois! I have skills! I watched the documentary Blue Eyed as a young girl! (Jane Elliot, the civil rights champion tells a 'Valley Girl' in one of her workshops to 'Get over cute. You'll be cute until you're about 40. Then you'll go for a promotion and you won't get it because they won't think of you as competent, they'll just think of you as cute. And then you'll howl sexism. Get qualified! Get competent!') It made quite an impression.

But deep in the recesses of my mind, I know that I'm kind of, you know, pretty. And it's hard to watch that fade a little. It's difficult to consider the alternatives: Should I let someone inject botulism into my face in order to paralyse certain problem areas? What if I want to express myself? Should I go under the scalpel? Some famous bitch once quipped: 'Your face can lie, but your neck tells the truth.' I am quite relieved that feminism has made it possible for women to have lives beyond their appearance, but my face and body are changing, friends -- and I'm not loving it.

So, it was with great relief when I stumbled upon Stephanie Dolgoff's Blog Formerly Hot. Filled with humorous anecdotes from the author and lots of other 'Formerlies', it makes wonderful (and comforting) reading. There must be a lot of us out there, as her book My Formerly Hot Life is on the New York Times bestseller list. Dolgoff's blog and book provide fab strategies to deal with your looks losing their lustre - and let's face it - it will happen to us all!

I Heart NY (Mag)

You're a 25-32 year old female.

What magazines do you read?

You have enough experience in the bedroom not to need your information from a glossy, let alone a sealed section. You are too smart to get all of your information from a serial whose stories are really pictures and who quote 'a source close to the couple' to add legitimacy to what they're alleging. You're too young for those publications who include articles about royal families, knitting and food porn (although you might flick through one at your mother's house!). You might have a mortgage, a child, or are saving up for a trip, so high fashion mags just make you want things you can't afford. Don't even get you started on periodicals devoted solely to slimming. Yuk.

So what's left? Frankie? Great publication - but it's published every second month! What's a girl supposed to do in the off month?

Fear not friends, as New York Magazine has come to the rescue! It's put out weekly and has a fab roundup of high and low art, political scandals, pop culture, opinion pieces and investigative journalism. My favourite section is StarMarket where they assess whether to buy, sell or hold a particular celebrity based on their stock history, market value, peers and what Hollywood thinks. Far from a nasty tabloid style dissection of their private life - this is an in-depth analysis of their movies, how they handle publicity, what they bring to each project etc. While I might spend some serious time drooling over Mad Men's John Hamm and am confident in his superior star power -- StarMarket points out that '[p]eople in Kansas aren't watching Mad Men. Hamm needs to figure out how to do something...with red state appeal but not in such a way that it looks ridiculous - so bull riding is out. Hamm's been an athlete. He's an NHL fan. He used to play baseball. Use that.' Good stuff! And not a recipe, weight loss article or blurry celebrity photo in sight. I had a ball flicking through this mag while I was in New York on a recent trip, but it has a great online counterpart which won't eat into your mortgage/holiday/child budget at all!

The Only One We Need

My laptop was stolen from my luggage on a recent overseas trip (along with a rather colourful maxi dress I bought from Macy's. What strange taste my robber had! What were they thinking as they were rifling through my possessions: 'Books, boring! I could sell this Mac on eBay. Ooh! Here's a nice dress!') and so this blog has been sadly sadly neglected. But I am back with a vengeance, friends!

I know you think I'm going to blab on about the new season of Mad Men or yabber about the state of the country's hung parliament, but no! I'm going to pay homage to a book that I have become strangely devoted to. One that I see on the shelf and smile. One that gives me comfort in uncertain times. One that I would save in a fire. Brace yourselves: it's the Low GI Vegetarian Cookbook. I know, I know, you think I've cracked it - let me explain: We've recently moved states and despite owning a shelf full of great cookbooks (both meat friendly and meat free), we were short on space and this was the only one that made the cut.

Written by Professor Jennie Brand-Miller (the scientist who developed the Glycemic Index) and others, it gives us meat abstainers some great pointers about how to get the most nutrition from food and then launches into the best 80 vego recipes that have ever existed. Truly, each one is a winner. My fella (a pretty committed carnivore) and I constantly sit and marvel about how each dish seems to trump earlier ones in the taste department, smug in the knowledge that we've just eaten something pretty healthy, too!

My mother, who remarked that all vegos should be 'taken out and shot' when I 'came out' to her, ate the Paella and then emailed the next day to ask for the recipe. Two other friends whose constant cry goes something like 'it ain't a meal unless there's meat' asked for seconds of the Spicy Moroccan Chickpea and Lentil Soup. And having never wanted to eat dahl before (it's such a cliche! It looks like slop!) I relented and cooked the Red Lentil Dahl with Spiced Basmati Rice and nearly passed out with pleasure.

Highly recommended for all vegos who are a little bored with tofu and goat's cheese (although they make an occasional appearance), as well as herbivores and carnivores who own way too many cookbooks!

Girl love for Tina Fey

A lot has happened. I got married, (it was awesome!) we renovated our bathroom, (not so awesome -- the people at my gym and McDonald’s quickly worked out that I was only there for one thing) and I re-kindled my love for Tina Fey (I watched all of 30 Rock Season 3 in one sitting). The woman is magic. I kind of want to be her, but I’d settle for her friendship – she could be my go-to girl for all sorts of late night cheese eating and bad tv watching. (I think I may be conflating Ms Fey with her alter-ego Liz Lemon, but let me indulge this fantasy.)

Fey has an impressive biography: becoming the first female head writer on Saturday Night Live, penning the script for the teen comedy Mean Girls, writing, producing and starring in 30 Rock, entertaining America (and the rest of the world) with her uncanny Sarah Palin impersonation and winning seven Emmy awards in the process.

Interestingly, Fey has been the subject of an online backlash of sorts – she accepted a Golden Globe award thus: “If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet. You can find a lot of people there who don’t like you.” Fey then told her ‘haters’ on the LA Times website “Babsonlacrosse, Dlanefan and Cougarletter”, to “suck it”. I love that she was a little vulnerable to criticism, but survived to tell the tale. She also seems to like other women – famously hiring Amy Poehler to replace Jimmy Fallon for their ‘Weekend Update’ segment on SNL.

And then there’s the scar – apparently caused by a rather dramatic slashing incident as a child. What is even more impressive is that she doesn’t like to discuss it. She told Vanity Fair: “It’s impossible to talk about it without somehow seemingly exploiting it and glorifying it.” Restraint. In Hollywood. Unheard of.

But the thing that I love most about her is her writing. It's genius. What about the comedy gold she gave to Salma Hayek: ‘Lemon, isn’t there a slanket somewhere you should be filling with your farts?’ Or her creation of uber manager Jack Donaghy, thereby totally resurrecting Alec Baldwin’s career? My favourite is her Sarah Palin line, uttered during the campaign: “I believe marriage is a sacred institution between two unwilling teenagers.” Yikes. Particularly pertinent given the controversy surrounding Bristol Palin's recent engagement. Maybe she can see into the future! Maybe she really is magic! Tina Fey – I salute you.

I'll Always Have Time For Mad Men

Hi friends,

I'm getting hitched this weekend and with all of the shopping, emailing, table arranging to be done, this little blog has been sadly neglected. BUT the need to satiate my Mad Men addiction has taken my attention momentarily away from all the crazy frou frou. Season 4 returns in America on July 25...and I've found a few little video hits that have helped me satisfy my cravings.

The first? Mad Men creatives and actors (some in costume--eek!) discussing Season 4. No doubt this has promted extensive analysis about Joan's fab ensemble and the 'fresh start' for the new advertising firm!

And second -- the most stylish montage of every pick up line ever to have been employed by Roger, Ken, Pete and Peggy! Indeed, it seems that Mad Men is really Peggy's story -- a plucky young woman learns to compete amongst the gents and marks the seeds of change sprouting in the 60s, ready to blossom in the 70s.

OK - my fixation has been fixed. Now, on to creating the dance floor playlist -- Mickey, the Grease Mega-Mix and Brown Eyed Girl are all out. Superstition, Lady Marmalade and Jungle Boogie are ready to go! Speak to you on the other side!